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| © Copyright 2012 Paul Hood |
Sheryl wrote the newsletter today. A weird merging of the political and personal happened this week and she thought she'd share the insights that came of it.
Thanks for joining us again,
Paul and Sheryl
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LESSONS FROM UNDER THE VINE
And everyone neath their vine and fig tree shall live in peace and unafraid.
So often in our spiritual practice people look to us for vision, the longer view, and certainly it is essential to imagine possibility in order to be able to create what we require for our deepest well-being for our personal lives and our world. There are times that require hope and change (familiar words?) but then comes the time to get the job done. And that can only happen when we can get the obstructionist aspects of ourselves out of the way or at least willing to cooperate!
Yeah, I know it sounds like I'm talking about Congress (and I am). But let's talk about the obstructionists within.
Have you ever known “exactly” what you thought you ought to do but had to fight yourself tooth and nail to actually follow through? “I believe it’s time for a change!” says my inner Obama. But the inner obstructionist party says “NO! I’m not going to let you!”
So the wars begin.
Once upon a time (and this is a true story) I was a professional paste-up artist. Some of you weren’t even born when cut and paste was actually a career instead of a couple of commands on a computer screen menu. But it was a career and it paid as much in the 1980s as full-fledged graphic designers who know multiple software programs for both print and internet get paid today! I remember when I went to the brand new Computer Museum in Boston in 1984 and saw the tiny “toaster Mac” Apple computer that had just been invented. It was displayed with a placard saying this little computer was going to be the way graphic design would be done from now on and I thought that was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard. My coworkers and I laughed about it for weeks!
A year later I moved to the west coast and couldn’t find a job because in the Bay area that prediction had already come true. My inner activist president said “It’s time for a change!” But the more I learned about the Mac the more I resisted. It was so expensive! And learning how to use a computer and its software was more than daunting. And for what? To do what I already knew how to do already? My inner obstructionist threw down the gauntlet and said “No way! We’ll do without this and take the conservative approach, thank you very much!”
So for the next three years I did try to do without it and didn’t find another graphic design job as a result. I changed direction, decided to apply my paste-up skills to creating paper quilt fine art pieces, joined an artist cooperative in downtown Santa Cruz (Artisans Co-op) and dove into the project of trying to make it as a fine artist. And I might have succeeded IF I had access to the inexpensive print technology available today and could have created prints of my most popular pieces instead of doing them all by hand. But high enough quality inkjet printers were not available back then and, even if they had been, I would have needed at least some computer literacy to take advantage of it.
So instead I struggled along, just barely breaking even on supplies and other art-related expenses while doing co-op shifts for other artists for money to contribute to my shared living expenses. Then in 1989 the unthinkable happened. The Loma Prieta earthquake hit just as I was getting a large number of pieces ready for a show and every one of those pieces fell, the glass in the frames smashed, and all the work was ruined. Not only that, the downtown area of Santa Cruz was devastated. Artisans Co-op was in rubble and everything inside was lost as well. Some of us tried to carry on by selling anything left in a temporary downtown tent pavilion but for me and many others too much was lost. My then-husband lost his business in the quake, too, and I needed to find another way to make some money pronto!
A couple of weeks before the earthquake my husband’s business partner had shown me how to do “cut” and “paste” on the new Mac they had in their office. I don’t remember why but I think I had softened up to the idea of using computers by then. A few weeks later I applied for an earthquake relief job doing graphic design at the Downtown Association. Apple had just donated a couple of toaster Macs for the effort and nobody knew how to use them. They said that if I knew how to turn the computer on and do cut and paste the job would be mine. As it turned out that’s all I did know how to do. I got the job and learned everything else I needed to know with their blessing paid on company time. I loved using the Mac, I learned all I could, and that led to getting the very best conventional jobs I ever had. I never regretted anything about learning to use the computer except how long it took to hop on board.
Lately I've been doing fierce battle with my inner obstructionists again. There are several choices I need to make and various possibilities I could follow but my inner Obama is outshouted by my inner Republicans over and over again. It doesn’t matter that I remember the folly in holding out -- it just makes the battle worse. It doesn’t matter that almost everyone would agree that the status quo has to be improved. Even the slightest suggestion is vehemently objected to and blocked as if Satan had just walked into the room! I don’t want to change! I don’t want to do anything different even though I know I need to! Worse, not even Paul has been able to help me because I don’t want to do anything anyone suggests. Damn it, it costs too much (financially, in terms of effort, or just emotionally) and what if it’s all a waste of time?!!! (At least that's how it seemed until early this week.)
My inner guidance suggested Vine. Vine flower essence is not a flower essence I would ever think I’d need. It’s for people with a strong inner will and drive to succeed. Okay, that does describe me. And Vine people do pretty much always wind up in leadership positions in whatever organization they’re in which tends to describe me, too. But this is where the description veers into another realm. When an out-of-balance person with a Vine attitude gets into a position of authority they tend to force their will on others. They are awesome at getting the job done but they’re ruthless and act primarily on the basis of selfish purposes instead of for the good of all concerned.
When a Vine personality is in control they lead with an iron fist. They demand obedience from those they deem to be their underlings and when they lose position refuse to allow an outsider to take the lead if there's anything they can do about it. They have an inflexible authoritarian mindset, think they know what is best for everybody, and will wreak havoc with any institution or person who pushes an agenda they aren’t in charge of... even if it sounds like something they used to say they’d be open to in situations when they were in charge. Again, I know it sounds like I’m talking about Congress but it’s an inner Congress we’re talking about here!
The Vine attitude comes from fear — fear of not being in charge, fear of going through whatever hell a person wants to avoid or whatever hell they've already been through again. In particular, it’s the fear of being under someone else's tyrannical insensitive thumb. A lot of times some incident or longer term condition earlier in life taught them to fear others and seize the reigns of power in order to create the strongest defense possible. The tools they gained can often be used skillfully. For instance, many people who need Vine learn to notice what the weak link is in any situation and how to exploit and manipulate it to their will. Used lovingly and with awareness the same training can be given to the service of helping people and organizations focus on what would make the biggest difference in their situations by mending those weak links (as a spiritual counselor, teacher or consultant in a good frame of mind can do). Vine flower essence helps a person align themselves with a Higher good, their Higher Self, God, the good of all. It eases the great fear a Vine person may have taken on, allows them to relax their inflexibility and allow for input and guidance from outside their more limited point of view.
I grew up with a family member I wished had been given Vine flower essence. He grew up in a very authoritarian household himself in the middle of the Great Depression. I’ve strived to live counter to his influence most of my life but since going through our own Great Recession misadventures I have no doubt how he developed his fear-based point of view. We internalize everything from our families of origin even if they frequently lie dormant much of the time. Like me, you might think you could never be a person who could benefit from a flower essence like Vine... unless there comes a time when your inflexible inner authority figure takes control, attempts to obstruct every move you make, and wreaks havoc with your life.
A true leader inspires the troops. When they supervise a team they look for ways to empower people and help them rise to their full potentials. I decided to try Vine flower essence for myself earlier this week and the first thing that happened was a decidedly more peaceful idea about a decision I was trying to make. Instead of seeing a potential disaster at every turn I suddenly realized without a doubt that if I presented my work in a straight forward way the people who were ready and able to enjoy or make use of it it would recognize that and respond positively. In other words the obstructive pattern I was most recently grappling with just went "poof" and went away! I notice the fears tend to come back quickly so I'm continuing to take this essence regularly throughout the day but I'm fascinated and looking forward to experiencing its full effect.
-- Sheryl Karas M.A.
Do you need to gain insight and work through inner conflicts in your life?
• Set up a spiritual counseling and healing session or schedule a series of sessions to work through your issues step by step! We work in-person (in Chico, CA) or by telephone or video via Skype anywhere in the world.
www.healingcommunication.com
• Add flower essence aromatherapy into your healing! I don't currently use Vine flower essence in any of my ready-made flower essence aromatherapy formulas as it would not normally be applicable to the majority of of flower essence users. On the other hand, I could add it to a formula if this article rang bells for any of you.
www.mamaloveproducts.com
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WAKING UP IN THE GREAT RECESSION MORMON DESERT
Our recent memoir is still for sale in book form on our website at http://www.healingcommunication.com/myproducts/Waking_Up_In_The_Great_Recession_Mormon_Desert,_Book_by_Sheryl_Karas_with_Paul_Hood.html
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