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| © Copyright 2014 Paul Hood |
Hi Everybody,
Thanks for signing up for our newsletter if you have recently signed up. Sheryl is running a special for newsletter subscribers only in her Etsy shop— 10% off your entire order including already discounted gift sets and bulk items if you type the coupon code [Sign Up for the Email Version of this newsletter to get the code] where prompted to do so at checkout.
Why the Etsy shop and not her own website? Because Sheryl is experimenting with products she has not committed to yet and needed a venue where she could easily just produce a mini-batch of a product and put only the amount available up for sale. Go check out what she’s experimenting with! http://mamaloveorganics.etsy.com
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Perception
Have you ever stopped to consider how your perception is tainted by your beliefs, the mindset you’re in, even the context in which you’re perceiving things?
For example, the open field across from our apartment is being bulldozed in preparation for putting in new housing. We’re a little unhappy about it because, even though that field is dried-out most of the year and is possibly even a fire hazard, it has rabbits and frogs and billowing mounds of wildflowers for a month or two every Spring and gives us the feeling of being on a country road…even though we’re really not.
Paul says “Look at all that destruction!” But the workers who were unemployed and desperately seeking work in recent years see it very differently. That “destruction” is “construction” and it’s going to be housing people relatively affordably and keeping a roof over the workers’ heads as well. Destruction/construction…neither viewpoint is incorrect. It’s the yin and the yang of a situation that involves choices that are actually far more complex.
And to make the issue of perception even more complex… you know the old saying that what you pay the most attention to increases? Well, if you’re on Facebook and click “Like” on things this is absolutely going to be the case! They have algorithms that tweak what you see in your newsfeed based on what you and your Friends “Like”. That holds double for the ads you see but it influences which posts you see by your friends as well. If you “Like” a political post about little children losing limbs as a result of war you’ll see a lot more about that even though you might not really like seeing that kind of thing at all. And trust me, as a person who used to do a type of social work, I (Sheryl) can attest to the fact that what you are exposed to most can radically change your point of view.
I was a Family Caregiving Consultant in Santa Cruz and listened to people dealing with the most horrific situations day in and day out. If you had interviewed me early in my career back then I would have told you things I was dead sure about in regards to these issues. And to a great extent what I had to offer was true. Except for one thing: I only met people who were in difficult enough situations to be desperate enough to reach out for help! Poor people, for example. People whose ailing family member was mean-spirited or difficult. People who didn’t have family members who could help. Etc., etc. I developed the impression that people who did family caregiving were more likely to be overstressed to the point of ill health. (And there are statistics that would back me up.) I spent the bulk of my time teaching people to take care of themselves and was angry and convinced that my job was created to help the state or federal government avoid spending the money to provide even more valuable systems of care.
But towards the end of my caregiving consultant career I learned other interesting things. Despite the stress and difficulties, people who take care of an aging parent or ailing family member report much more satisfaction with the experience than people who depend entirely on professionals or other family members and don’t do any hands-on family caregiving at all. It might have stressed some people to the point of ill health but their choices left them feeling better about themselves and closer to the loved ones they cared for. There were gifts in having done it and they rarely had enough regrets to regret having taken it on. They could use more help— don’t get me wrong—but I was mistaken in thinking that the pain of the situation overshadowed the benefit. Except in the worst circumstances (the ones I saw most often), the opposite is closer to the truth.
So? Why am I telling you this?
Because the world is not black and white and yet the world situation we live in is getting so polarized. Because it’s easy to be righteously indignant about what other people do or don’t do without being able to hear the elements of truth that may exist in their point of view. And because we can be mistaken about what’s “good” or “bad” in our own life situations, forgetting that the yin and the yang of a situation are both sometimes necessary parts of the whole.
And one more thing: because sometimes the only way to change a mostly negative situation is to have the intensity of your pain fuel your need to learn what you need to know, set a new direction, ask for help, and have the courage to follow through.
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Spiritual Counseling and Healing with Paul and Sheryl
Book a session… http://www.healingcommunication.com
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Where to Find Our Artwork
In our joint Etsy shop... http://www.etsy.com/shop/PaulnSherylArt
Beautiful Photographic Prints by Paul Hood... http://PaulHood.imagekind.com/
Beautiful Photographic Prints and Artwork by Sheryl Karas... http://sherylkaras.imagekind.com
Art notecards, T-shirts, mugs and other gifts featuring our images... http://www.zazzle.com/paulnsheryl*
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Where to Find Our Videos
http://www.youtube.com/user/healerteam
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